The fact is that; if you wish to have the freedom and the power to be and express yourself and be able to live a fulfilling life you have to rid yourself from that low self-esteem which is crippling your life and turn it to self-love.
What is Self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. In other words, how much you appreciate and like yourself.
- Self-esteem is often seen as a personality trait, which means that it tends to be stable and enduring.
- Self-esteem can involve a variety of beliefs about yourself, such as the appraisal of your own appearance, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors.
So therefore we have Low self-esteem and healthy self-esteem.
Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem
You probably have a good sense of who you are if you exhibit the following signs:
- Ability to say no
- Positive outlook
- Ability to see overall strengths and weaknesses and accept them
- Negative experiences don’t impact overall perspective
- Ability to express your needs
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
You might dislike yourself, your figure, your voice, your month, how you walk, to be point to you hate your being. Also that you feel worthless or not good enough. You are unable to make decisions or assert yourself in certain situation. You don’t like to socialise because you feel that no one likes you. And sometimes you blame yourself for things that are not really your fault. You feel guilt for spending time or money on yourself, you don’t believe you have any strengths but bunch of weaknesses, you don’t deserve happiness and you doubt yourself because you have low self confidence.
On my quest of self-discovery and self-love, I’ve learned: In the moment of your total knowing which moment could come upon you at any time, you, too, will feel as I do always: totally joyful, loving, accepting, blessing, and grateful of who you really are by loving yourself unconditionally.
The difference between Ego and Pride
One of the secret I manage to understand early on that there are two powerful forces moving within me when it came to motivating me to act in life. My ego or my pride.
Pride : A feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction based on your own achievements and your self-growth in comparison to your former self.
Ego : A feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction based on the opinion, respect and comparisons others make of you.
So consider this…Who exactly are you in this life? Your name? Prestige? Religion? Country? Respectability? Money? Power? Social status? Belongings? This whole accumulation becomes your identity, your personality and it gives you a false sense of being. This is the ego. All these things are temporary, one day people find value in what you have to offer, and the next day they don’t and they find in somebody else.
Low self-esteem is caused by others opinions.
If I say to you now, you are ugly what would be your reaction?
Now I say to you you are beautiful what would be your reaction then?
The point is that if you love someone or something it is way beyond the physical experience and beyond what you see with your eye. It is spiritual level my friend.
The people you have ever loved for you they are the most beautiful creature ever right?
When you love yourself it is the same
So let me tell you this nobody is ugly
Bullying is bad thing and nobody should be bullied. verbal bullying usually tap on our lower point and personality. They call you names right? Like you ugly, you are monkey, you are pig and others it all about your low self esteem. What bullying does it tap on our self esteem.
If you have Self-love is a totally different matter. It doesn’t require others validation, you become enough unto yourself. You won’t get upset if someone call you beautiful. If you know you are beautiful and someone call ugly it won’t affect you.
How we create our image of ourselves?
The thing is that; You are constantly bombarded and exposed to an ideal set by the media, from news, to the advertisements, and the fashion industry always reminding you of how out of fashion your belongings are compared to their new products, and how ugly you are compare to the beautiful models presenting those products.
By trying to raise up your game and by trying to be accepted, you create a fake image of an ideal that you don’t manage to live up to. As consequences you think you are not perfect, therefore you come to that fateful conclusion that you are not good enough, you don’t deserve to be loved and you reject yourself.
Look at Instagram and Facebook posting people post picture and waiting impatiently for other people opinion here in term of like and comment. Refreshing constantly to see how many likes or comment you get and what is the comment saying. The ego crave that constant feed all to valid your worth.
Did that not happen to you?
Fear of Failure
Whenever you failed at something, you interpret it as you are not intelligent or that you lack social aptitude.
For me personally when I was growing up each time something went wrong, either in school, at home or social gathering I would make it all about me. About how inept I was.
If I asked a girl out and got rejected, it was because I was ugly and not because, for instance, maybe she is not looking to date someone at that current moment. All I was telling myself was that I was ugly because I was constantly reminded by my siblings and other family members that I was useless and ugly.
From low self-esteem to self-love
Self-acceptance is an instrument of Self-Love, to accept that you’re not a perfect person and that you don’t have to be.
The more self-love you have, the more you forgive and accept who you are, the less you will judge ourselves so harshly.
You also judge others according to your image of perfection as well, and naturally they fall short of our expectations.
If you want to fully experience love, you must believe that you are worthy of love. If you cannot love yourself, which is where your love is coming from, how can you truly love someone else?
The experience of others does not make you
Look at your mental image of yourself and I want you to review them piece by piece like puzzle. Do not dismantle the puzzle, but look at each piece, and replace those which seem out of place, which no longer create the real image of who you really are.
All that you think about yourself. They are simply judgments, Assessments. Decisions. Mostly, they are decisions made not by you, but by someone else. Your parents, perhap, religion, teachers, historians, politicians, friends.
Very few of the value judgments you have incorporated into your truth are judgments you supposed to have made based on your own experience. And out of your experience you were supposed to create yourself.
But sadly You have created yourself out of other people experiences.
The result is that you have betrayed your own truth about yourself—with devastating results. You have rejected yourself.
Be bold to change
You know what?
The difference between you and I it is that I am ready to tell the world who I am and what I believe without breaking stride or hesitating, because I am happy with myself.
Can you do that then trust me, you have created a Self and a life for the Self, which needs no improvement. You have reached self-love.
Like most people you too, you are willing to sell your integrity, pride, to be accepted by others by gossiping, embracing silly cultural trends of fashion, drugs, gangs and negative mentalities.
If you love yourself then simply you love yourself, no mirrors, opinions or reflections are needed. You know yourself from within.
The question is: Do you need a mirror or other people to prove that you exist?
If there were no mirrors or people in this world would you become suspicious of your existence and how much you’re worth as a person?
You need to value yourself according to your ups and downs. How happy are you with what you are God or Universe created you. Not according the trend or likes you get from facebook or instagram or a friend.
In your opinion, what is the difference between self-esteem and self-love? Please share in the comments!
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